I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark. Thank you, steal again. Save me, Jeebus. I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures?

I stand by my racial slur. Homer no function beer well without. Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” Ahoy hoy?